Goodbye instead of goodnight
You didn’t think twice
As you closed your eyes to dream
I layed there
Lips curved into a smile
It’s not a type of tired that can be solved with sleep,
although sleep would provide tempary relief
only to be reinforced when I wake
As you took your first breath of night
I took the last of my life.
Your heart slowed while mine sped to the stop.
I said goodbye
You didn’t think twice.
I am scared
I am hiding
From the monsters
Hiding in my bed
I am to scared to feel
Or simply just breath
I can feel their touch
As they are getting closer
Screwing me up
As they speak inside my head
Tearing me apart
Another sleepless night
Another endless fight
Another battle inside
Another reason to die
I am done
I am dead
I am gone
The sound of my mums voice shattered my sleep.
I just layed there for a moment taking it the fact that I was still alive, that I would have to face another day. Feeling the tears welling up in the back of my eyes I heaved myself out of bed and started to get ready. As I walked…
I want to go for a walk, perhaps with you by my side
I wish for the rain, to touch my face
I’d like to feel that warm summer breeze as I walk down that road
But what if I go by myself
Will I handle my own self
Or will it consume me
I’m so scared of it
It’s so painful
What if the train comes
What if a car drives by
What if the buss is coming closer
What should I do
Perhaps It’s better if I stay inside
Isolating my self from the beings
Disconnecting my soul
And just breathe
But I feel so trapped
There is no more space left for breathing
No, more room left for air
I had a friend once, she was damaged on the inside.
She told no one. She prefered to lie. One day, when we had lunch. I saw her look. She was so empty and numb. From that moment, to the last day of school. This girl became thinner, and uglier to. Cause She hated herself. Of the way She looked. That hate was consuming her, into someone I never knew. The fact that she was beautiful was no longer inside her mind. She feelt so ugly, stupid and blind. When She walked through the hallway, She always looked down. Why You may ask? Because this girl was so shy. She thought She didn’t deserve it, She thought She had to die. So one day after school She wrote her goodby.
From that day on. This girl were nowhere to be found. She was a ghost. With darkness inside her mind. The shadow that followed her, was consuming her heart. But the spirit in her soul was screaming with a mighty cause. The battle that followed. Gave the girl so many scars. It was endless nights and weat pillows on her bed. She was all alone, she was in the middle of the crowd. But the girl had no friend, that would help her fight.
The last time I saw that girl. Was the day I graduated from school. She was standing under a tree, and she looked kind of happy to. My soul had find its way out. And now I am walking like a shadow behind the light. Walking these empty streets. Hoping for a spirit, that will set me free.
When she woke up the other girl was gone, and so was Pain. She was sitting on a floor that was cold, hard and uncomfortable. She looked around to see if there was any way out of this place. There was a door, but the doorknob was gone. As if the door never really had one from the beginning. She started to think about what happened back there. Before she came to the forest. She remembered the other girl, when they where standing in front of each other. Right before the black feeling. She felt it, at the moment she touched the other girls hand, she saw her memories. And everything about them was real. As if it was her own memories she was looking into, those memories she barley could remember. But that girl had them all. She knew everything, and she was her key.
The other girls name was Kira. She saw it when she looked inside her memories. And Kira was the same as Ino. But Kira was also connected to Pain somehow. And that was not good for Ino. She remembered when they were in the forest, all of them. It was as if Kira was trying to say something but she could’t. And Pain, did sHe have some sort of control over Kira, the same way sHe was hurting me? So Pain was actually controlling me too. In some way, but what is sHe. Is he real, Is sHe dead, or is sHe another part of me? I started to feel a bit tired as I was sitting down. I didn’t know how much time I had, but i really needed to get out of this room and find Kira.
She was standing up now. Looking at the door as if it would burst in any second. But it didn’t. So she started to walk, the only path she had ever knew was now being taking away from her and she needed to put an end to it before it was to late.